Sad but True News
There are limits to the sacrifices that I'll make for Art. Like going to see Meet the Fockers, for instance. I didn't fancy the first one, so this was always going to go down like a turd on an escalator for me. On the other hand, Nick liked Meet the Parents, so I asked him what he thought. It sounded like he was rather disappointed. So I've no hesitation in giving this a shit rating.Mind you, it wouldn't be the first shit sequel ever made, and it certainly won't be the last. Even Shakespeare ballsed it right up with King Henry IV part 2. He was going to write a third part, too, but maybe he dreamt of Richard Pryor in Superman III and laid down his quill. But what really scares me is that in its first five weeks on release, in America alone, Meet the Fockers had taken 247.24 million dollars. A quarter of a billion bucks. Fock me. Imagine how much it would have made if it was good! It might be a cynical join-the-dots exercise, but it's a cynical join the dots exercise that's just netted someone a quarter of a billion dollars. I would sleep with Patrick Moore for that kind of money.
You see, we're the ones who are to blame for movies like this, we go out and watch any old braindead trash, so they keep on making it. Mind you, I can't talk, I'll go and see Ocean's Twelve unless it reeks.
posted by Chairman Peyote @ 1:06 PM
2 Comments:
There are rumours that this will turn into a triology, which would be shit. I have some suggestions on the title (vital) and a vague plot:
Title:Ugly Mother Focker
Plot: In which the the fockers have a little baby with down syndrome. The stupid fockers try to exterminate this hideous aberation by dumping it down the toilet. The baby then grows up in a sewer, and turns into a 12ft human/alligator/creature/spaz. The finalee of this film shows the spaz-alibaby getting shot in the head and made into a focking handbag, whilst everyone laughs.
comedy music and canned laughter is piped over the top.
Title:You Focking cock sucker!
Plot: In which Gaylord Focker sucks cock, and then takes it up the ass. He is finally shot in the head by De-niro in a like the end of Taxi Driver scene whilst comedy music and canned laughter is piped over the top.
Title:Die Mother Focker.. Die
A sad tale in which the mother of Gaylord focker dies in a bizarre fisting accident. The body (played by Barbara Striesend) is left to rot in a sun god ceremony, but is stolen by a couple of drunk necrophilliacs who use it for their perverse pleasures. Gaylord finds these drunks and shoots them in the head whilst masterbating violently over his mothers corpse. comedy music and canned laughter is piped over the top.
Hey Steve, is that you? How are you doing? Are you in Hollywood yet?
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