Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
When I was over at my sister's house for Christmas, my wee nephew mentioned he'd seen all of the Star Wars films, except for Episode III: Revenge of the Shit, because it contained "moderate fantasy violence and scary scenes". So I asked him which one his favourite was.When he told me it was The Phantom Menace I almost undigested my festive turkey. Why would you say such a terrible thing as that, I asked him, and his answer was most interesting: because there's pod-racing in it.
It's beside the point that The Phantom Menace is a shit film. George Lucas understands kids brains and marketing opportunities, and we do not. Even if you think back to the first Star Wars movie, everyone you knew either a) had Star Wars figures, b) wanted them or c), was a girl. These movies are about as innocent as a free Tetris game which, when you assemble all the blocks, spells out stuff your sweaty cash into the dribbling Lucasfilm maw, little boy.
4 Comments:
I had as much Star Wars stuff as my poor pestered parents could afford. I had a Princess Leia action figure and an R2D2 AND a Chewbacca. What I really wanted was a Han Solo and a Darth Vader but my brother got those (bastard). Also I had a big Tie Fighter model kit that I had to put together and paint and everything.
All girls really love Star Wars even if they won't admit it. We love all that swash buckling coming to the rescue stuff.
I can remember the first time I saw Star Wars Ep IV. It was on Video! Yes it was the first video we were ever able to rent. I think it must have been '79 or '80 and it was for my birthday.
Actually, the girls love it because we all wanted to do Han Solo...
It must be weird watching Star Wars for the first time now, and realising that Harrison Ford didn't always look like that bloke who goes down the pub with your dad. I would at least consider doing him, but I'm not sure I like the idea of being watched by a 7-foot tall hairy bloke.
I would just like to clarify that I would entertain the thought of doing a youthful Harrison Ford, as opposed to your dad. Thank you.
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