One Word Movie

That Car Advert

At the moment it’s quite easy to watch movies that are not complete bollocks, because everyone’s bringing out their Gyllenhaal flicks ahead of the oscars. Even though it result in you watching better movies, I still don’t like it, it’s like putting out a nice table-cloth for when your bird’s mum comes round, when normally you eat out of sweaty tandoori polystyrene.

Still, there is one thing that completely raises my ire. Not the people who laugh at the Orange Adverts. They are just dicks who would laugh at the same joke even if you tell it to them once a week for 900 consecutive weeks. No. I hate the car advert with the Frenchwoman and the public school, rugby-playing penis in a V-neck. This advert is scum on so many levels. As if smug yuppie couples trying to one-up each other about irrelevant cultural details wasn’t bad enough. These wee cars have been marketed to women for ages, by saying that you are a smart competent yet sexy young lady who has complete dominion over your fat sack of a boyfriend. Fair enough, but obviously no man could ever buy one of those hair-dryer motors without shedding at least an ounce of testosterone, and having to drink Dubonnet and lemonade for ever ever after.

So, the worst thing is this is a transparent attempt by the marketing men to try to reposition their product, and tell inadequate men (i.e. the sort who feel they need to validate themselves through automobiles) they’ll effortlessly able to put one over on some hot French chick whenever they want to, just to be able to watch her pout. And we lap it up. When this advert comes on next I’m going to spray the screen with arterial blood, that’ll learn those fuckers.

posted by Chairman Peyote @ 5:34 AM