One Word Movie

Frozen Land

I thought that the ICA refused to show movies that weren't completely stinky, but last year I went to see Primer there, which was good, and this confused me. So today I went down there to have a look at Frozen Land, a Finnish version of Short Cuts, and all I can say is, fucking, fucking Primer. Frozen Land is the worst film I have seen in a long time. No-one smiles throughout the whole movie, and everyone wears retarded grey jumpers. It is essentially about how life is unbearably depressing and how the Finns would probably thank you for landing an atom bomb on Helsinki. Maybe if they could bring themselves to wear even the tiniest bit of beige they might feel better.

I don't mind films like that, but this is boring and stupid. The central genius premise that everyone lives in their own private hell and does their best to pass it on to the next arsehole in line is spelt out at the beginning, reiterated halfway through, and never deviated from. There are two good scenes in the film. # 1 is when two of the characters are doughnuting their stolen car in the motel carpark after getting calamitously wasted, and then the one who's driving hollers "let's wank!". # 2 is the most grim ashes scattering scene you can imagine, so much so that I started sniggering at how awful everyone's life was. You don't feel sympathetic for the people in the film anyway, because they are all morons. I've told you all the good bits now, you don't have to waste 130 minutes of your life on this shit.

posted by Chairman Peyote @ 11:07 AM