Primer
I almost didn't go and see this movie, because it was on at the ICA. I used to go to the ICA quite a lot when I was young, pretentious, and full of crap. Because it seemed to be a requirement for films that were shown there to be, yes, pretentious, and yes, full of crap. And that was on a good night. I saw the worst film of my life in ICA 2, Wayne Wang's Life is Cheap but Toilet-Paper is Expensive. Truly, greaseproof for the soul.
But, for a fiver, you get to see Chris Marker's La Jetée (the film that inspired Twelve Monkeys), you get to see Primer, and you get to see some really awful modern art, too. I can't ignore value like that.
It's a pleasure to see La Jetée on the big screen. For me it's all about building towards the moving image, and then stepping away from it. So in purely plot terms, it's a bit of a failure, really. But a brave and interesting failure. And still a
good film.
Primer, on the other hand, is the El Mariachi of time travel movies, shot on DV by a load of engineers for $7,000. I was amazed that they'd managed to spend that much. You should see it now, because they're going to remake it and almost certainly turn it into
shit. There aren't any special effects, and the time machine looks like the one out of Calvin and Hobbes. And the engineers in the film, well, they look like real engineers, because they
are real engineers. Not like the fake scientists in that
shit Paul Verhoeven film about an invisible Kevin Bacon, for instance. There are no beautiful scientist women in this film to appeal to the FHM readers, when the science bits start to hurt the dear old brain, either. For fuck's sake. I have warned you. When they remake it, it'll almost certainly have Denise Richards getting her tits out in it. Ladbrokes have that as 6/4 on, which seems like a value proposition.
Because of all this, and because it nails the nerd-dialogue, the movie
feels real. And it conveys very well the sense that what is happening is the leading edge of an almightly fuck-up. David Lynch would make films like this if he wasn't a lazy bastard, oh yeah. See, Mulholland Drive (
shit) covers the same territory as this movie, but in that film Lynch gets all confused, so he makes sure the movie makes no sense at all, and
voila, everyone hails him as a visionary genius.
Whereas this film does have things going on it. Things which get explained at some points using diagrams. And a reference to modular design. You're left to figure out the questions yourself, and you need to be paying attention. Definitely no time for snogging. And it will spin you out. This film is
good, and I might have to go and see it again.
The Island
From what you have read about this film, you might be aware that there's a bit of a twist. Well, sorry to spoil it for you, but after a mildly interesting first half hour, the twist is that the film turns into a stupid and overlong festival of boring chases.
OK, when you see Michael Bay's name on the credits, you know that you're going to be a very disappointed little boy if you wanted an interesting film for Christmas. It was obviously going to be a
shit film. But this is a
badly-done shit film, with lots of imbecile plot-holes. For instance, Ewan MacGregor and Miss Scarlett can get out of the clone meat facility, simply because all the doors have been left open.
In Batman, for instance, you were interested in what happened because it followed some kind of plot logic. Here, the plot is merely some kind of justification to string a load of second-rate chase scenes together. Actually, there is one good chase scene (where Ewan tosses the big dumbbell things off the truck). But that's all you get. They run everywhere as well, maybe they think they're getting fat?
Why has Ewan MacGregor been cast in this role, by the way? Does he think that if he appears in enough
shit movies him and Jude Law will be able to club together, buy Canvey Island, and turn it into Jurassic Park? Scarlett Johansson is OK except she looks like she's been punched repeatedly in the lips, and she's not given anything to do. Oh yeah, I've just remembered, yes she does, when Ewan is having the man-fight with Sean Bean, she gets to rescue a load of clones from incineration. Afterwards no doubt she gets a job working with sick animals and designing lingerie.
Two further things about this movie. Firstlly, it's the most violent 12A-rated film I've seen, I thought Sean Bean was going to eat a live squid at one point. And secondly, it says on the poster that Michael Bay directed Pearl "Harbor". Well, sorry, that's not going to impress anyone very much, is it? That's like mentioning, on a first date, that you have a tendency to poo yourself when you get excited.
Coverage of obscure Hungarian art-films to return shortly.
Whisky
This is a Uruguayan film about old people who work in a sock factory. For the first half an hour, the main characters go to work in the sock factory, two days in a row. The main difference between the two days is, one of the sock machines goes a bit wrong on day 2. If that sounds boring, the first five minutes is mostly taken up by the lead old man trying to start his car. I was really worried at this stage, because I thought it was turning into that
shit Bombon El Perro movie, without even the consolation of a nice big dog in it.
Well, I don't want to spoil the surprises for you (like what happens when they go to the seaside) but this turns into a really
good movie. You feel for the characters, to the extent of offering them advice from the stalls. It's got human drama,
and a swimming pool full of men with hairy backs. People have compared this film to the oeuvre of Aki Kaurismaki; I think that's because of the ingenuous tone. But the films of Aki Kaurismaki are rather fanciful concoctions, and this film struggles with daily reality. So, ultimately, the denouement is that bit more pleasing.
It doesn't make you want to go to Montevideo on holiday, though.
