One Word Movie

Special Edition Judith Law Digest

I know I have discussed the career of Jude Law in this blog before, but it is worth returning to the subject, because some people might think I like him. Well, if truth be told, he isn't a bad actor, if you think that acting consists of making your emotions really large and obvious, so that they can be discerned by children, and he is undoubtably something of a pretty-boy. No. The problem with Jude Law is that he has calamitous taste in films. He loves appearing in shit movies. Please review this listing of his entire cinematic career and make your own mind up. The list is chronological, by the way.

The Crane: n/d
Shopping: shit
I Love You, I Love You Not: n/d
Bent: shit
Wilde: shit
Gattaca: shit***
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil: shit
Music from Another Room: n/d
Final Cut: shit
The Wisdom of Crocodiles: n/d
eXistenZ: good
Presence of Mind: n/d
The Talented Mr Ripley: shit
Love, Honour and Obey: shit*
Enemy at the Gates: shit**
AI: shit*
Road to Perdition: shit
Cold Mountain: shit
I Heart Huckabees: shit
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: shit*
Alfie: shit**
Closer: shit
The Aviator: good
Lemony Snicket: n/d (and it's just his voice, so I don't know if it counts either way)

Key to symbols:
n/d = no data
* = hilariously bad
** = painful
*** = Well designed furniture and fuck all else, at very very great length.

Of the good films on the list, he was only in The Aviator for three seconds, and I must confess that I'm unable to account for the presence of eXistenZ on the list. But this is demonstrably the one smear upon a career remarkably untarnished by cinematic merit.

PS: Steve's mum used to teach English to Jude Law, so I know what I am talking about.

posted by Chairman Peyote @ 2:46 PM