Aeon Flux
When you start watching this film, a load of guff comes up on the screen about how in 2011, a plague comes and wipes out 99% of the earth’s population, and since then everyone else has been shrunk down to the size of an atom and they all live in a discarded Burger King container or something. I wasn’t really paying too much attention but you get the idea. Well, at this point you know it’s not just your phone, it’s also your brain that you should switch onto silent mode.This film aims low but it still misses. Apparently Charlize Theron won an Oscar a few years ago but you could never tell, there’s absolutely no acting required. I wondered if they were going to CGI it in over the top but it looks like they forgot. Frances McDormand is in it as well, the sum total of her acting is to get her voice vocodered, like that Madonna album from the 90s. There isn’t any dialogue, the characters just spout chunks of narcissistic exposition ("you’re the greatest assassin in the world, Aeon" "yes, I am") at one another. And there are absolutely no jokes or humour whatsoever.
On the more girly side of things, Charlize has a stupid haircut, and there are not enough costume changes. All the fights look like they’ve been copied from the cut scenes of the computer game of the film, or maybe it’s the other way around, it blends into the same thing. I was quite disappointed with this film, and although you get to see La Theron’s boobs, she could be entirely in the altogether throughout and it would not save it from being shit.
posted by Chairman Peyote @ 1:39 PM
2 Comments:
meeeeeeow
Dear Phantom,
I went to the ballet the other day and there was lots of twirling in that. It was good, especially the ballet that involved music and not the soundtrack of industrial grinding.
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