One Word Movie

M:I:III

You'd never believe me if I told you that this film, with its hubristically punctuated title, wasn't shit. It is ridiculously vulgar yet full of itself, for instance, no-one has nostrils, you have a nasal cavity, and yet into said nasal cavity Truman Capote introduces explosive bogeys or something, and Tom Cruise gets one up his nasal cavities and consequently he has to get his heart stoppped and restarted by his girl in a scene with the slow-mo on and the emotion tunes playing which could almost be sad if it wasn't for the fact that the camera can't resist oggling her (admittedly fabulous) tits.

It might be shit, but it's very entertaning. There's about 15 boring minutes of talking at the beginning, which is suceeded by a 100-minute non-stop action sequence. And Tom Cruise's acting is a joy to behold. When there is that scene in Men in Black where they have the TV screens showing all the resident aliens, Top Gun is playing on one of them, if you know what I mean and I think you do. I would pay big money to see Cruise's Hamlet, I really would.

Sorry I gave away the end, by the way.

posted by Chairman Peyote @ 12:59 PM