One Word Movie

It has been a few days since my last confession

And since then, father, I have been clean of body and mind (well, relatively), and I haven't abused myself by watching shit movies. Unfortunately, I am sorry to say that I haven't watched any movies, or indeed had any fun since I wrote last. I did, however, watch Nathan Barley on the telly. Chris Morris and Charlie Brooker are behind it all, and I really would buy a zone 6 travelcard if even one of these was picking his nose in a shop-window in Orpington. But obviously, when you get your expectations up like that, like I did when I saw a £45 pound sofa in IKEA, some fucker has to do a riot and ruin it all. Oh dear, Nathan Barley really was a horse-load of shit. It reminds me of Chris Morris's Jam, which was clever but actually mind-shreddingly unfunny.

Which puts me in mind of that new film coming out next week, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Even though Bill Murray is in it, my shit radar is picking up a strong concentration of 'brown gold' here, let me tell you.

I really enjoyed Wes Anderson's Rushmore. It is good. The birds sing in the trees, the actors are having fun acting, and you can't tell exactly what's going to happen in it just from looking at the poster. But that came out in 1998 and 1998 is a long time ago, dude. In 1998 I was four foot tall and weighed 75 pounds.

Since then I have grown a couple of foot, and Wes Anderson made The Royal Tenenbaums, which was a pile of shit. They got loads of actors, and loads of funny tracksuits, and then forgot to have any ideas. So it was just like a tray of minced cow-bollocks in a butcher's shop in Walthamstow. Oh yeah, and Esquire magazine really liked it. If Esquire magazine likes something, it means you'd get more laughs out of Mein Kampf, quite frankly. But I suppose to compensate you do get to look at features about cake-shy models showing the lower third of one fake tit.

So. The point being, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou looks like The Royal Tenenbaums, but with wetsuits instead of tracksuits. It's going to be shit. Spend your nine quid elsewhere.

posted by Chairman Peyote @ 4:36 PM